The 10 Rules of Officiating

[Mark Padgett]

I like to quote certain "rules of officiating" that I've made up over the years here on the board. I've had two people ask me if I would post them. Since I have nothing better to do (and you, obviously, have nothing better to do than read them) - here they are.

Number 10 - "When you're on the court - always look sharp. That doesn't include the top of your head."

Number 9 - "There's only 2 (sometimes 3) people in the entire gym who don't care who wins - you and your partner(s)."

Number 8 - "Remember - it's just a game. But you get paid anyway. What a deal!"

Number 7 - "Never swallow your whistle - it's there to be blown and besides, it tastes really, really bad."

Number 6 - "Parents know as much about the rules as they do about raising children."

Number 5 - "When in doubt - don't be."

Number 4 - "Always bring your English-Jibberish dictionary to the game so you can understand the coaches."

Number 3 - "Coaches have a shorter leash than a puppy."

Number 2 - "NO OVERTIMES!!!"

and (drum roll please) Number 1 - "Tuck your whistle in your shirt before you take a leak." This applies to both males and females.