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I think I completely understand what you were facing with the pitching, BTDT this season too many times.
I think other than kicking the call (which happened, and is something we have all done - see my previous post).
I don't think the substitute rule applies because she was legally in the game as a player if I understand the situation correct.
The only rules I see applicable are the batting out of order rules, which are what you made the call based on. The question comes into the application of the batting out of order rule because the incorrect batter was noticed prior to the next pitch (legal or illegal) after the incorrect batter took her place in the box.
With that said, I think I would have done is put the correct batter where she was standing, on first. I would have put the incorrect batter in the batters box with a 0-0 count. I would have counted it up to my mistake and if the coaches wanted to argue, I would have taken the heat for my mess up.
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