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The referee has an opinion (judgment) and the coach has an opinion. Unfortunately for the coach, only the referee's judgment matters. In my mind, that is why the formulation "in my judgment" or Bob's lengthier one are valuable -- they contain a reminder that it is a matter of the referee's judgment. Anything we can do as officials to de-escalate tension, in my mind, is a good thing -- we don't need the coach to agree that we "won" the dispute, we need to get the game moving and people doing what we want them to do. (Anyone who finds the coach-referee dynamic a struggle might consider reading Verbal Judo, the Gentle Art of Persuasion, it is written by a former cop and has some interesting strategies on de-escalation and defining what one is trying to achieve in an interaction.)
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