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Old Sun Jan 24, 2016, 04:45pm
BillyMac BillyMac is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Connecticut
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Baby Ruth ???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Freddy View Post
No plumber's stories here from me.
I Handled - - It

By Freddy Krieger

Sometimes, as an athletic official, you just have to “put up with it.” But what is the “it”?

“Be prepared to put up with the worst and be happy when you get the best,” a wise veteran once taught me. I’ve prepared for it all, but I never thought I would have to put up with this!

At a characteristically uneventful boys’ high school freshman basketball contest, I was very happy that one member of our three-man crew was my boys’ assigner. It provided an opportunity for me to officiate and do a good job for the guy who rates me and schedules me according to my abilities and judgment. To handle a pressure situation tactfully and professionally would be bonus points for me, I figured.

All was going well deep into the second quarter. Then … “it” occurred.

As the trail official following the play from backcourt to frontcourt, I eyed a foreign object at midcourt, near the jump circle. It looked like something that could cause injury if stepped on by a player coming back up the court. With no significant play about to develop, I whistled play to stop, called for an officials’ timeout and approached the object.

Was it half a Baby Ruth candy bar? A partially gummed three-link large Tootsie Roll?

My plan was to pick it up and head toward the scorers’ table, while scanning the bleachers for any group of fans giving away their guilt as the ones who tossed it.

Favoring expediency over analysis, I tenderly grasped the unidentified encumbrance with my left hand, suspecting nothing more than a gooky hand full of chocolate as an outcome. After all, as a plumbing contractor specializing in drain cleaning and sewer repairs, I surely handle more disgusting stuff than that on a daily basis.

I distinctly remember saying to the table official, “I’m not gonna ask what this is, but can you throw it away for me?” I dropped it into his open hand, turned around and prepared to signal for play to resume at point of interruption.

Then, just as I was about to wipe the spittle from the piece of candy on my black pants, for no memorable reason at all, the impulse to take a whiff of my hand struck me. And I did.

I think you know where I’m going. It was softer than a Baby Ruth should be and not as hard a Tootsie Roll. Sure enough, it was neither.

Promptly, yet calmly, I called the other two officials to center court. “I think I better go wash my hands,” I remarked, partly seeking the permission of my referee. It took only the briefest of explanations before the crew chief, my assigner, responded, “You’d better!”

A quick trip to the dressing room and then I was back on the court. The game finished without a problem and no one in the stands had a clue what had just transpired.

It turns out the whole thing was caught on tape, both the incident and the offender. In fact, according to an athletic director friend from a neighboring county, it happened again in a different gym a week later. That time he handled “it.”

The mystery now solved, a letter is being crafted by one athletic director to the other that there’s a problem with one particular player. Apparently an effort is under way to take care of “it.”

The best analysis of the situation came from someone who said, “I know you have to put up with a lot of $#*& sometimes. Good thing we had a plumber on the court!”

Looking back, it seems I handled “it” OK. As an official, I guess it’s just another one of those things I have to put up with.

I hope my assigner was impressed!

Freddy Krieger is a basketball official from Baroda, Mich. This article originally appeared in the 7/08 issue of Referee.

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Last edited by BillyMac; Sun Jan 24, 2016 at 04:49pm.
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