[bainsey]

Off-season charity tourneys are equivalent to men's wreck. Now I remember why I don't work men's wreck.

The silliest thing about one particular game is that no-one complained about fouls, but grossly whined about the easy calls of travel, five seconds, and backcourt.

*A-1 tries to drive down the left side, jumps off one foot, and his feet come down at least a half a second (closer to a full second) apart. Easy travel. A-1 cries at me, "That was a HOP STEP!" Not sure where this guy gets his rules, so all I could do is grin and shake my head. He whines on the way back up the court, capping it with a gym-filling "DAMN!"

Whack. I've never T'd anyone on "damn," but my feel was this was going to get worse if not handled, and it was loud enough to be heard on both courts. It kept him silent the rest of the game. (He may have said "ball don't lie" from the bench, but my rabbit ears were down.)

*A-2 is dribbling and closely guarded about 20 feet from the hoop, trying to find a way around the defenders, and was likely trying to mess with them. Tweet, five seconds. (I may have given him six.) I found out later that rule will no longer apply next season while dribbling in NCAA men's (I'm no college official), but even still, his reaction was as if I shot his dog. I made it clear to him to ask questions if he'd like, but his reaction wasn't necessary.

*Last minute, A-2 steals the ball and one-touches to A-3 behind him. Unfortunately, A-3 was on the division line. Backcourt. A-2 acts again as if he's been robbed, finishing with, "Can we get some new refs?" Whack. At least he thanked me for the T.

We do charity functions to work out some ring rust and help good causes. It's funny how some forget these tourneys aren't exactly prestigious.