Quote:
Originally Posted by twocentsworth
Food for thought...
Maybe it's just me, but when someone, who is clearly upset/emotional , is asked a "loaded" question ("Do you want me to?....") or issued a challenging statement ("If you don't ____, then I will ___!"), 9 out of 10 times you're going to get an emotional response - "GO AHEAD!".
Unfortunately, officials tend to respond in a similarly emotional way ("FINE!).
Although it is sometimes difficult, the officials need to be the calmest people in the gym/arena. I'm sure you didn't want to forfeit the game - nobody does...heck, I'm sure the coach didn't want to either. You simply have to get the coach to calm down.
Ref: "If you don't sit down and stop complaining, then you will forfeit the game."
(Here comes the emotional response...)
Asst. Coach: "Go ahead then!"
(Instead of reflexive emotional response...)
Ref: "Coach, you don't really want to forfeit. Think about it...I'm sure your Athletic Director and Principal won't be happy with a forfeit. I understand you're upset and frustrated. I understand you don't like what has happened. Let's work together to simply get thru this game and finish it without any more problems. It's about the kids. Nobody wants a forfeit. Let's play...." Then get the game started again.
An official can certainly "show 'em who's the boss" and forfeit the game. If that happens, I'm sure that the assignor, conference commissioner, AD's, & others "powers that be" will support the official. We both know that the official isn't ALWAYS right and that there is definitely more than one way to handle a situation. In my opinion, If I have to forfeit a game, then I feel like I didn't handle the situation as well as it could have been. It is only the extreme circumstance that calls for a forfeit; haven't personally experienced one in 15yrs of doing all levels from youth bball up to D2 college games....
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Nice post. For anyone looking for ways to manage coaches, you might consider
Verbal Judo - the Gentle Art of Persuasion. the author, a former beat cop among other things, talks about learning how to get people to do what he really wanted -- and part of that was figuring out what he really wanted them to do and what might induce them to do it. Not a be-all-and-end-all book, but interesting thoughts on managing other people. (As officials, we need to have confidence and thick skins, which leads many of us (like cops) toward more authoratarian models -- which aren't always the most conducive toward getting to the right place.)