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What your partner does'nt know will not haunt him/her. Perhaps your feelings of regret are best overcome by resolving to learn from that instance, and adjust your determination to handle such a case differently, in the future. That is the way we go through life -
circumstance -- re-action -- evaluation -- adjustment -- commitment --
new circumstance -- new re-action -- evaluation --
and on it goes. There is great satisfaction in experiencing a more favorable outcome the second time. Don't be so hard on yourself.
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To be good at a sport, one must be smart enough to play the game -- and dumb enough to think that it's important . . . 
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