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The rules (regarding fouls) are different for a player with the ball versus without. For example, two hands on the ball handler is an automatic foul while two hands on a non-ball handler is not necessarily a foul. Similarly, when judging how a players RSBQ is affected, not having the ball makes a difference (it takes more contact to affect a non-dribblers RSBQ, in my opinion). If the ball handler passes the ball to a teammate, he is a non-ball handler and the contact can be judged differently. So something that might be a foul on a shooter may not be a foul on a player who has just passed the ball.
That said, if there is an clear foul, then it should be called regardless. It's not our job to judge what team is helped by a foul. If that were the case, then we would pass on a lot of fouls late in the game to keep the clock running. Perhaps that foul that you pass on is the 5th foul on a star player and the team would rather have the foul than the points. I think we get into trouble when we start trying to overthink things. Just apply the rules.
You do have the option of an intentional foul by the defense which sounds like it could fit in your scenario (contact that neutralizes an opponent's obvious advantageous position; contact away from the ball with an opponent who is clearly not involved with a play; contact that is not a legitimate attempt to play the ball; excessive contact with an opponent while the ball is live). Also, if the contact with the passer is not immediate, it may occur after the shot (and the basket would count if good).
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