[greymule]

Del-Blue, you make a very good point, one I will ponder seriously over the next few days.

I want to help out my assigner whenever possible. He's truly one of my favorite people—a good friend and an active umpire who at age 87 has not slowed down one bit. He worked his first game when Babe Ruth was still playing.

He also umpired many of my games years ago. He still referees basketball.

So I generally take anything he wants me to do, whenever, wherever. I agree that it is ridiculous to send a real umpire to do Alice in Wonderland games, but I know the difficulties he has assigning. If I say no, he might be in a real bind.

Part of the problem with joke league games is that it's hard to know how to relate to the players. Since they're not ballplayers, you don't have a universally accepted groundwork to start with. These leagues are full of guys whose careers stopped after Little League, but who seem to want to impress everyone with their prowess and knowledge on the field. One of the clowns last night hit a soft liner to right that the outfielder (this is a 220-foot fence, remember) ran in and caught. The clown trots back to his bench shaking his head, and says, "Didn't quite get it all." He was serious, too. I almost laughed out loud. All he did was hit a pathetic bloop.

Well, I have another one tonight. Maybe I'll get the same team.