[j51969]

Originally Posted by bainsey

MS doubleheader today, working with a new, young partner. The first (boys) game started 36-0 and finished 68-13. The losing (visiting) coach was very quiet; the winning (home) coach was anything but.

In the first few minutes, he was trying to buy calls. I was the T, near his bench. In the opposite corner, ball handler V-1 shuffled his feet, and Coach H called for a travel. Within a second, my partner called just that. (I doubt rabbit ears were involved.)

I calmly turned to Coach H and say, "Coach, we got this."
He responded, "Well, make the calls, then!"
I considered a T, but instead, offer a stern look, "Coach, not again!"
He doesn't complain the rest of the game.

Here's what I didn't know about myself. The A.D. (official timekeeper) spoke to us at halftime of the second (girls) and told me that, at the time I was considering the T, it showed. My two hands at my sides were starting to make the "T" signal, then quickly stopped. I didn't even realize I did that, and I'm glad he pointed it out. There's no way he was the only one who saw that.

There are a lot of things we don't see about ourselves. It makes you wonder what other non-verbal clues you send out.

(Side note: I had to get a T later, on H-12 for eye shielding, holding both hands two inches in front of a ball-handler V-2's face. Never saw that before, may never again.)

Sometimes it may seem hard, but I am not getting upset over what any coach or player does during a game. If behavior warrants a technical foul it's generally not a surprise, even if they act like it afterwards. I am not taking any of this personally, nor do I have an emotional investment in the outcome (they do). It's a game and I choose to be there. Many of these alpha male types see us as a necessary evil anyway. I am not going to compound the situation by rising to their level. I am always efforting to bring them to mine. I don't engage in unnecessary conversation yet I am approachable. I am visibly fit and have a presence on the court without having to show it (maybe it’s the NCO in me). I have a smile on my face and probably seem to the casual observer like I want to be there (without the showboating). This is not a place you can arrive at when you first start officiating, but something to strive for. Most varsity contest’s are probably in the neighborhood of $70. If what you’re doing starts to feel like a job you either need to be making way more money, hang them up, or go coach. JMO

Edited:

I wasn't speaking directly to you, but more in general. Just in case it came across like that.