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Sounds like quite a mess.
The first question I would ask is: did the fan need to be removed? We have to understand there will be some verbal abuse from fans especially in emotionally charged games. We need to have a thick skin and in my experience, ignoring verbal abuse is the best tactic to get them to stop. If they won't stop or the abuse becomes vulgar or personal in nature, the first thing I would do is have him moved to another seat. If he is going to not behave in the front row, moving to the back of the gym is a good way to get him out of sight (and hearing distance). This might be a nice compromise.
If you decide he needs to leave the gym, there is no way you should resume play until the fan has vacated. If the fan refuses to leave, I tell the home coach that if the fan doesn't leave he will cost him points (technical foul). By rule you can penalize the home team with an administrative technical foul for fan behavior. This is not something that should be used except in the rarest of circumstances. If you say something, there is a good chance the coach will be motivated to get the unruly fan out of the gym ASAP.
As far as professionalism of your partner, I don't think this deserves a response. I would probably inform your assignor what happened and that you didn't feel the official exhibited proper professionalism during the game and leave it at that. The assignor can choose to act on it if he chooses.
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