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Coach speaking to an opposing player in the manner you described gets a warning, at minimum, ejection at maximum depending on what was said, prior conduct in the game, general tenor of the game, etc.....
In your second situation, I don't feel that it is my position as an umpire to get involved in that interaction between a coach and his player. You indicated that this was a showcase, so I'm assuming older teenage players that have been in travel ball for awhile. I certainly don't like or condone his conduct, but at that level it's up to the player and/or her parents to stand up to that.
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It's what you learn after you think you know it all that's important!
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