Sounds like you only had one umpire, correct?
Obviously, the guy was a rules nazi, which you typically find in the lower level games where the umpires are relatively new to the program. They focus more on trying to find rule violations than they do on just calling the game, perhaps to impress people on their rules knowledge. Unfortunately, they make up a few to demonstrate their true lack of knowledge. I've worked with a couple of them in my local area. They are the ones who will call a half-dozen illegal pitches, twice as many obstruction calls, a couple of leaving base earlies, and maybe even a uniform violation. When I see them on my assignments, I know I'm in for a long game with a couple of pissed off coaches.
In HS games, I rarely see multiple coaches attend the plate conference. I see it more often at ASA tournaments, for whatever reason. What's the purpose of the second coach standing there listening in? Obviously there is no rule against it, but perhaps your umpire was told in a clinic that only the head coach should participate in the conference. Heck, he may have even brought that from his days of umpiring Little League; who knows. I just wonder why you felt compelled to be out there with your daughter.
For the IP calls, if this umpire was solo, then the missed foot violations are understandable. From his angle, would he have been able to tell the righty pitcher had her pivot foot behind the pitcher's plate? Could he have thought she was in contact with her toes on top?
Not that I'm trying to defend this guy...
