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Some weeks ago I had a coach who was very much like this. He had been a real prick the whole weekend and I got him in the semi-finals of the losers bracket.
Three pitches into the game he's already crying about the zone. I just gave him the stare (you know the one you try to copy from your wife when she's upset with you).
Didn't work. Couple batters later, and his starting pitcher is getting pounded, he just starts getting irate about me not calling the outside pitches, claiming "She has a good breaking curve." She was breaking two feet before the plate and curving 8 inches outside.
So he finally says the one word I hate. "Homer". I call time, walk over to the dugout, and through the fence I have a firm conversation with him. Very much like this:
Me: Coach. I strongly recommend you find your composure and conduct yourself in a more professional manner. You will adress me as Sir or Blue. Do you understand?
Coach: I have never seen such..
Me: Coach. I am not looking for your opinion here. Do you understand my first question?
Coach: Give any guy a shirt...
Me: COACH! I asked you a question. Are you ging to answer it or just sit here and display this immature acts that you can clearly see are not impressing anyone?
COACH: I understand.
Me: Good. Now, I want you to gather up your things and leave and if you say one word or make a scene I will forfiet this game. Do you understand me?
Coach: Yes.
And he left.
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