Well, part of the problem is that you were literally on the field having this discussion, which shouldn't occur, local convention or not. Something emanating from the dugout is one thing, coming from a coach on the field is another.
If the umpire has something to say, it should be up close and personal. Either he should have come to you or you should have requested time to go to him and have a quiet conversation there. If you are lucky, the PU will come out and join the meeting, or at least, get within earshot.
However, I might not be as diplomatic (at a higher level).
If the BU is unrelenting in his unreasonable demand, ask him if you can show the player where to stand and when the umpire agrees, go place her right where YOU want her positioned and walk off the field without another word or even a look.
Is that being a jerk? Maybe, but some umpires are no better than some of the coaches that KNOW they are right and need some remedial training and be afforded the opportunity to learn how wrong they are.
I still hear from a coach who was ejected 2-3 years ago from a JO state tournament insisting the umpires were wrong when one went for help and changed a call. His argument wasn't the call, but the "fact" that once an umpire makes a call, no matter how wrong it is, it can never be corrected. His source? He knows a college coach that told him so.
He swore he would never allow his team play ASA again because the umpires don't know what they are doing. Most of the umpires belatedly thanked him for that.
