[BillyMac]

My Catholic middle school assigner wants all "Fashion Police" rules enforced (headbands, wristbands, undershirts, etc.) He makes this very clear to all coaches, and athletic directors, before each season. He has told us that if he finds out that we are not enforcing one of these rules, that we will not get paid for that game. I'm sure that it's an idle threat, he assigns from his retirement home in Florida, so how's he going to find out what happened here in Connecticut (I don't think that he has a black helicopter), but we all enforce these rules because nobody wants to be a test case.

Last year, for some reason it was decided that the rule regarding illegal numbers had to be enforced. We all got an email, as did all coaches, and athletic directors, at the start of the season.

I'm working a "junior varsity" game, involving fifth, and sixth, grade girls. Girls are warming up. One little girl has number six. Opposing coach reminds me of the rule, and it's necessary enforcement.

I tell the coach of the little girl with the illegal number that she can play if he takes a technical foul. He asks me if he has to sit down, and I reply that he gets seat belted. He says that he can't sit and coach.

There's no way that I'm going to prevent this little girl from playing. We decide that she will wear number six in the first half, and not play, and then at halftime, she will change jerseys with another girl, who will sit during the second half. At halftime, the change is reported to the official scorekeeper, and to an official, to make it all legal. I was surprised that the rule didn't require the uniform change to be reported to the opposing coach, but we did it anyhow.

Same team, same coach, same little girl, same number six, the next weekend. Coach says he has extra uniforms at home but he forgot to bring them. So we go through the same shenanigans all over again.