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I've stayed out of the conversation, since I posted the scenario that has fueled so much of this discussion:
The reason that my partner and I talked with the coach was not so much because of possible disconcertion of the shooter. We have an obligation to the entire organization - high schools' athletic assn, officials assn, NFHS - to be cognizant of the sportsmanship aspect. (I'm the strange guy who actually memorized and repeats the NFHS Sportsmanship statement at captains meetings, before games).
The actions we addressed, in another setting - wreck league, pick-up game, etc. - might not be anything except comic relief. However, being responsible, as I understand it, to do our part on behalf of all who we, as officials represent and to whom we report, I'm comfortable with how my partner and I addressed the situation.
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To be good at a sport, one must be smart enough to play the game -- and dumb enough to think that it's important . . . 
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