1) whenever a dead ball situation has occured, before the plate umpire puts the ball back in play the pitcher must have the ball, the batter set and the pitcher must be engaged on the rubber. putting the ball in play is done with a pointing towards the pitcher and a verbal "play." that way, mechanically and verbally the ball is put back in for those that can see you and not hear you, and those that can hear you and not see you...i.e. batter and catcher.
2) depending on the level of play most pitchers will know if the batter is set or not and will not throw if he's not ready because you(blue) will not allow the pitch, right? gesture as you have written and then I usually mutter "here we go" to the batter as I point to the pitcher letting him know we are ready.
3) not unless the runner is half way to the next base. the general lead is no biggie.
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It's nothing until you call it!
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