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Old Fri Jun 14, 2013, 10:25pm
Gulf Coast Blue Gulf Coast Blue is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Gulf Coast of TX to Destin Fl
Posts: 988
Originally Posted by Mark T. DeNucci, Sr. View Post
Prior to last night, the only slow pitch softball that MTD, Jr., and I umpire is Specials Olympics and it uses straight ASA Rules.

Yesterday afternoon, the summer baseball and slow pitch assigner for the Toledo Park & Rec. Dept. (his first year assigning summer umpires), who is a H.S. basketball official and H.S. varsity baseball coach in the Toledo area (and a real nice guy) emailed to ask if Junior and I could umpire some slow pitch softball games for him last night (one game) and tonight (two games) at $25 (cash) per game. Junior was not available but I was and I said yes (the park where the games are played aren't even 4.5 miles from our home).

I did not know who my partner was until I met him at the diamond. I should tell you that the complex has four diamonds so there were eight umpires there: two of us in navy blue shorts, one in gray pants, four in navy blue pants, and one (a female, I am sorry, but I am not being sexist but I call them as I see them) in navy blue jeans, .

My partner was attired in the correct ASA hat and ASA powder blue shirt, navy blue pants with black belt and ASA ball bag, black shoes, and white () socks. His accessories included a diamond stud in his left ear, shin guards worn on the outside of his pants (), with the piece de resistance being a three inch wide wooden paint brush with a (approximately) six inch long handle () for his Plate brush. He told me that he had been umpiring ASA slow pitch softball for eleven years for the TP&R; I checked and he was not an OhioHSAA registered fast pitch softball umpire. I let him have the Plate, .

The game was an adult men's (wreck) league game and it was moving along at a good pace until the bottom of the fifth inning. I had a banger at 1B and I called the Runner safe. A little bit of griping by the Visitors but it was over by the time the next batter stepped into the Batter's Box.

Top of the sixth and I have a banger at 1B and call the Runner out, again a little bit of griping by the Visitor's but again, it was over by the time their next batter stepped into the Batter's Box.

We go to the bottom of the sixth and the real fun starts. Banger at first and I call the Runner out. Home F1, from the bench yells at me to get my "fat a$$ (I resemble that remark, ) into position". EJECTION #1.

The 1B Coach then yells at me that I am "an a$$hole". EJECTION #2.

The Visitor's score two in the top of the seventh inning to tie the game and as the Home team goes to their bench to bat, H-F4 tells me that I am "f**king a$$hole". EJECTION #3.

Long story short, the Home team scores a run in the bottom of the eighth to win the game.

Foot notes to the game:
1) In the top of the fourth inning, I had a Runner and the F6 collide at 2B, no obstruction or interference, just a mild train wreck and both players banged knees. I called Time, quite loudly, so that both players could walk off the collision, and my partner knew I had stopped the game because I was standing just off 2B and looking directly at him with both hands in the air when I called Time. Before I could ask either player if they were ready to play he allowed F1 to pitch to the next Batter, .
2) He never once gave the count during an At Bat, and I never new when he had called an illegal pitch because he never used the Delayed Dead Ball signal.
3) After all three ejections my partner allowed the ejected players to lallygag in the bench area and to continue to yell at me while allowing the game to continue. I had to take matters into my own hands, and stop the game until the ejected players went to the parking lot. He was worthless. But it was worth the price of admission to watch him clean the Plate with his paint brush and wear shin guards on the outside of his pants.
4) The Home team had an old geezer my age (he looked like he was in his 60's, ) who was its 3B Coach. After the game, as I was getting into my car, he yelled from across the parking lot that he was going to come over to my car and kick my a$$. ROFLMFAO!!

Never a dull moment in "wreck" league slow pitch softball, . My better half does not want me to umpire tonight; she says the $50 is not worth the aggravation from the yahoos that are called players.

MTD, Sr.
MTD, Sr. You have been around awhile......but you have not paid attention.......there is a reason that adult softball is called AA (Alleged Adult).....

This acronym was coined by a fellow called around 1998.....maybe sooner......Slow Pitch a genre of and in of itself.......

I have done a total of 208 games......good luck in your endeavour......

Never argue with idiots...they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
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