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The rule cite you are looking for is whatever rule in the ruleset you are working that covers unsporting acts in general. The words "unnecessary hard tag" won't be found. It's also not going to say specifically that a player cannot cuss out another player but I am certainly going to judge that to be an unsporting act and rule accordingly. What specific actions the umpire is going to judge as unsporting are left up to the official.
However, I don't think I have ever seen a tag that I thought was "Unnecessarily hard". I have seen some hard tags but it is the result of a diving tag or a fielder running to reach a runner and tag her and the tag ends up being a bit of a collision.
It would have to be a situation where I was convinced that a player was obviously using a tag as an excuse to haul off and slap the crapp out of an opposing player before I would call something on this. At least in my neck of the woods..I have never seen this kind of play.
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