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APG has posted the procedure for DQ. A player is not disqualified until the covering official informs the coach. If the official failed to notice or interpret correctly the scorer's outstretched hand, then the player was not in fact disqualified.
So, to handle the situation in the OP, the officials should have done just what they did: DQ the player at that point, no additional penalties on anyone, and play on.
Handling the AD is a different matter. He has no business threatening officials in order to get a call to go his way, and such behavior needs to be reported to the conference commissioner/assignor and probably the state.
And aside from that, he was wrong.
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