Thu May 08, 2003, 03:17pm
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Official Forum Member
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Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Just north of hell
Posts: 9,250
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Re: Re: OK, Juulie - if we're into groaners..........
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Originally posted by ROMANO
Quote:
Originally posted by Mark Padgett
Juulie - here's the one I told you last season. Juulie and I were working a game together. It just so happens that Juulie is a Quaker and I am Jewish. I told her I actually knew a joke about Quakers and Jews. I mean - what are the odds? Here it is:
There was a Jewish synagogue and a Quaker meeting house (I think that's the correct term) down the street from each other. One night, there was a fire and the synagogue burned down. The Quakers offered to let the Jewish congregation use their meeting house for services until the temple could be rebuilt.
As the months went by, members from each group occasionally attended the services of the other group. It turns out that quite a few of the Jews decided they really liked the Quaker meetings.
When the temple got rebuilt, the rabbi was holding the first services when he noticed a large number of his congregation was missing. He asked the temple president where they were. The temple president told the rabbi that they had all joined the Quakers.
The rabbi said, "What! Some of my best Jews are Friends?"
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MARK
i really like you'r stuff but this to much..the jews aren't a jokes...
this IS to much i'm going to call BRAD now!
AND PS
What kind of fun does a priest have?
Nun.
Three Jewish sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Torah and you know she can't see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to the second son, "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude."
She wrote to the third son, "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
Three Jewish sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."
The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."
The third said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Torah and you know she can't see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to the second son, "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude."
She wrote to the third son, "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
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the joke so nice he told it twice! 
Anywho...
A priest and a rabbi were playing golf with Jesus. The priest hits the ball & it lands just off the green. The rabbi hits the ball & it lands 20 feet from the hole. Jesus hits the ball, it bounces off a tree and skips by a bunny, who picks up the ball in its mouth and scampers off. Just then, an eagle swoops down out of the sky, grabs the bunny & soars off...suddenly a huge thundercloud forms in the distance, a bolt of lightening cracks and hits the eagle. The eagle drops the bunny, who drops the ball upon hitting the ground...and the ball rolls into the cup. The rabbi turns to Jesus and says: "Are you gonna play golf or screw around?"
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