Quote:
Originally posted by bob jenkins
Three brothers decide to go into business as cattle ranchers. They can't come up with a name for the ranch, so they ask their father. He suggests Focus -- because it's where the "sons raise meat."
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This is my favorite kind of joke -- the kind my dad has told since I was little. SUpposedly, he can tell them for an hour straight. My favorite:
There's this orchestra and choir performing Beethoven's greatest works in a park series. On this particular day, the weather was quite sunny and pleasant, but somewhat breezy, and the music kept blowing around. The conductor, and several of the instrumentalists finally had to put string around their music to keep it on the stands. At one point near the end of Symphony #9, there's a long section where the choir doesn't sing at all. Well, the basses who were standing on the back riser, and getting quite warm, decided to sneak over to the beer garden for a couple of quick ones. As they were quaffing, quite rapidly, they sort of lost track of how much they had. They got back up on the risers, but then things started to go wrong. They couldn't find their pitches, and of course that threw off the other singers as well.
One spectator leaned over to the other one and said, "Wow, things don't look good. It's the bottom of the Ninth, the score is tied, the basses are loaded, and no one is on."
We have argued in my family whether its correct to say both that the bases are loaded and that no one is on. My uncle insists that if all three runners are leading off, and thus not touching the bag, they can be considered on-but-not-on. You baseball folks will have to decide the merit of this arguement.