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I don't think we're too far apart. Some things get addressed more quickly if they're loud, but it's usually more about tone than anything else. Other times, a quiet comment gets ignored while the same words get shouted and earn a T.
My only point was that saying it quietly without gestures isn't an automatic pass just because no one knows it was said. Coach or player quietly says "Your partner is a ....", that's a T regardless of volume or gestures.
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