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It sounds to me like the only thing getting worse is your self-confidence. According to your post, you are doing the right things with conditioning, rules study. You did not mention it, but I hope you are attending a good teaching camp or two in the offseason.
You did mention a couple of things that alarm me in your post.
1. You should NEVER GUESS on a play. If you cannot see the play and determine a call with 100% knowledge, do not blow your whistle. If you do not have an open look, your partner probably will and can help. If you are constantly in bad angles, you need to watch yourself on tape or have another official observe you and see what you are doing to maintain open looks (ie moving to get an angle). It sounds like you are not in proper position, but even so, never guess.
2. Coaches will never be "won over" with a description of why you called a play. 95% of the time, they disagree with you and nothing you say will change their mind. Keep the dialog short and say, I saw a charge coach. The defender had legal guarding position. Then walk away.
3. Most concerning is that you are doubting yourself...we all miss plays, but move on and make sure you get the next one right. The coach has now gotten into your head. It would not surprise me to watch the play and find that you got it right. Trust your skillset, trust your judgement!
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