Quote:
Originally posted by canuckrefguy
You don't even need the word "Jewish" in there...
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canuckrefguy you are a big anti-Semitic!!...
hi it was a joke..just kiddinig..we can joke about anything..
In a small country pub, all the patrons became quite used to the pub owner's little dog being around the bar, so were quite upset when one day the little dog died. Everyone met to decide how they could remember the little dog. The decision was to cut off his tail and stick it up behind the bar to remind everyone of the little dog's wagging tail.
The little dog went up to heaven and was about to run through the pearly gates when he was stopped by Saint Peter, who questioned the little dog as to where he was going. The little dog said "I have been a good dog - so I am going into heaven where I belong!". Saint Peter replied "Heaven is a place of perfection, you can not come into heaven without a tail, where is your tail?"
The little dog explained the what had happened back on earth. Saint Peter told the little dog to go back down to earth and retrieve his tail. The little dog protested that it was now the middle of the night on earth, but Saint Peter would not change his mind.
So the little dog went back down to earth and scratched on the door of the pub until the bartender who lived upstairs came down and opened the door.
"My goodness, it is the spirit of the little dog. What can I do for you?" said the bartender. The little dog explained that he wasn't allowed into heaven without his tail, and he needed it back. The bartender replied "I would really like to help you, but my liquor license doesn't allow me to retail spirits after hours!"
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A man follows a woman out of a movie theater. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I couldn't help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find it unusual?"
"Yes," she replied, "I found it very unusual! He hated the book!"
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and the last one about cat..
A man who absolutely hated his wife's cat decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.
As he was nearing home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day, he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away and try the same thing.
As we was driving back into his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat farther and farther away, but the darn cat would always beat him home.
At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right and so on until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and he left the cat there.
Hours later, the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes," the wife answers. "Why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answers: "Put that damn cat on the phone. I'm lost and I need directions!"