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It may be hopeless with guys who insist on calling their partner's line, and I've seen some who are like that. Usually, it seems to be older guys who are "old style" refs for whom the game has somewhat passed them by. Younger guys tend to be a bit more coachable. Regardless, I would simply try as you did to explain what line is whose call (the mechanics book is clear on this), then make it clear to him that if it's my line I intend to make the final call no matter what direction he pointed, unless I specifically asked for help.
As far as the "I-didn't-see-it" mechanic, I ALWAYS pre-game this point and emphasize the need for the non-calling official (in 2-man) to be looking at his partner on all OOB calls. If I don't know, I make eye contact with him (or with the official nearest to the call in 3-man), which is his signal to make a call if he has it. Some guys look at and maybe step toward that other official and call out "Help," at which time he gives a direction. Either or both are accepted mechanics to get help on a line call.
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