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I actually address this with HS coaches when I see it during their scrimmages/play days.
The OP clearly indicates the ball being rubbed in the dirt. I've even seen pitchers drop the ball and stand on the ball and move their feet to grind the ball into the ground.
As the umpire in a game I would stop them immediately and instruct them to not do it again.
I will inspect the ball and either keep it or replace it. I will then instruct the coach that if their player believe the ball to be too slippery, I will be more than happy to rub it down, or maybe have them rub it down in their hands. If they want to use dirt, I don't have a problem with that as long as all they are doing is rubbing it down, not marking or scraping it.
I make it clear to the coaches that any player found to be doing so after our little talk will need to find a seat on the bench.
I think the issue in the OP isn't so much the dirt, but how the pitcher was attempting to scuff up the ball.
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The bat issue in softball is as much about liability, insurance and litigation as it is about competition, inflated egos and softball.
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