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I'm making the transition from sub-varsity to varsity and so am usually the U2 with two more experienced officials. In those situations I will ask if we're being uniform police tonight and follow their lead (i.e., when in Rome). I don't feel great about doing that but at least the subject is brought up.
If I'm the R for any game, however, the uniform rules get enforced as written.
It's interesting that in an avocation that is prone to so much judgment and interpretation for just about everything there can be such an issue with something that is so clearly defined.
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