CT1,
I "rarely" throw a ball to the pitcher because, like you, I feel that's the catcher's job, so I just usually give one to him when a new ball is required.
The exception for me is when I've come up the line on a fair/foul call and the ball ends up foul. If I'm significantly closer to the pitcher than the catcher is, I'll go ahead and toss it to F1.
I always make sure I've got his attention before I release the throw, and, at my age, the velocity of my throw is such that it isn't going to hurt him even if he does get distracted and gets hit.
As to the OP....
1. I always wait until I'm off the field and well away from the fans before I shake hands or "fist bump" my partner and compliment him on not sucking.
2. I treat having returning balls thrown to me as a "...when in Rome..." situation. It seems primarily level dependent, somewhat regional, and, occasionally, coach/team dependent.
I like the way Bob Jenkins put it in a thread from last year when this discussion came up:
Quote:
...You don't (imo) want to be the "reda$$ umpire who makes us carry the balls out to him on an effin silver platter", nor do you want to be the "effin LL umpire who doesn't understand the protocol at this level."
And, you do sometimes have to spend some time "training" the participants what is expected / allowed. It's (occasionally) a fine line to walk.
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There are some coaches who make it a POE to teach their players to be respectful to the umpires. While I personally don't find it disrespectful to have a returning ball tossed to me, it is MORE courteous and respectful for a player to hand the ball to the umpire.
Regardless of whether it's tossed or handed to me, I make it a point to ALWAYS say "Thank you" to the person who returns it to me. And if it's a catcher or head coach, I use his first name when thanking him.
JM