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Good questions. We cover these types of things prior to each season in our state clinics. Handling situations is a critical part of umpire success. Hopefully your local group will help bring about clinics to discuss matters like the one you wrote about.
You stated that this was a Fed ruled game. You are fully within your authority to eject the player for his unsportsmanlike display. What he did was visible to all and a potential risk to others. You won't be showing your partner up by ejecting the player. There is no need to be dramatic about the dump. His HC will know.
For the second play, I don't see where he was wrong. We don't let others question balls and strikes. Maybe a look the coach's way would have sufficed, maybe a simple instruction with the mask on would have worked, HTBT.
I've seen a lot of post games go badly when a partner was too aggressive or defensive. A really good umpire friend told me long ago to ask questions at first. If you are the more senior umpire or crew chief, a great lead is, "That was a good game. Any thing you want to cover?" If he is reluctant, point out something he did well. Tell him that you were happy to see him cover the play, change angle, rotate, etc. so well. Read him. If he is appreciative, you can offer advice rather than criticism. If he becomes defensive, you may benefit from a discussion with the assignor. Maybe there is baggage there that you are unaware of. Around here, assignors seem to know a great deal about personalities and history. I hope you are as fortunate with yours.
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