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Sorry I'm replying to this thing a couple of years after it was first posted, but something needs to be done about this...
In any sport, at any level, there seems to be four types of officials. One type lets players, coaches, and fans get away with any type of disagreement. Another cards someone everytime they so much as throw up there arms in the international symbol of "wasn't me". A third hears some disagreement (legitimate or not) in his/her first game and quits. And finally there are those who get it right.
I think that it's very much a personal decision, but there are some relative absolutes. As soon as it changes from a disagreement about a call to a personal attack, stop it right there. Calls are fleeting. You'll never get more that 50% of people involved in a match agreeing with a call. Stand by your call, but don't get personally attached, like you're handing down the Ten Commandments. But as soon as a coach/player/fan pulls out the "you suck, you're the worst ref in the league/country/world/time, you shouldn't be a ref, etc," you have to stop that immediately. As soon as someone drags out any sort of profanity, even very, very, minor profanity, such as G-- D---- or hell, I'ed shut that down pretty quickly. The idea is not to give out as many dissent cards as needed, it's to make sure as few are needed as possible. Try talking to a player. "Another outburst from you and it's a card" will go a long way to shutting up a coach or player.
I said don't get attached to calls/non-calls, and now that I think about it, that really personal. As a general rule, treat personal attack as much worse, but sometimes you really feel strongly about a call, which is ok. Cards are my big thing. Just as I reserve the right to card people for certain offenses based on my judgement, I reserve the right to not card people for certain offenses based on my judgement, and I don't tolerate much demanding of cards. Also, notice the difference between disagree with a call, and whining just to whine. You can normally tell if you blow the whistle in a situation where the call could have gone either way, and before any signal at all, a coach/player/fan is yelling at you. Don't take that, if you're gonna disagree with my call, I'ed appreciate it if you waited to find out what it was before you argue it.
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