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This past weekend I had the pleasure of working with "That Guy".
"That Guy" shows up 15 minutes before game time- as I'm getting dressed for the plate because I'm not sure if he's going to make it- and the first words out of his mouth are, "I want to do the plate". I tell him I'm already half-dressed and the game starts in a few minutes. He tries to tell me that I have the game times all wrong and we have 45 minutes, not 15 minutes. Ummm, no.
"That guy" is wearing a hat that looks like it was rolled in the mud in an effort to get the sweat stains out of it.
We get to the field and "That Guy" seems more concerned about having a good ol' boy friendly conversation with anybody he can corner than administering a ballgame. We make a quick equipment check and then I start rounding up the coaches for the plate conference. I get both the coaches together and...no partner. I scan the field to find "That Guy" chatting up somebody along the outfield fence in left field! W have to stand there a minute before he comes ambling up to the plate.
The game gets going and I find out that "That Guy's" idea of being in the "A" position is standing right next the first base coach's box, all the while chatting up the first base coach. Seriously, he's standing right at the far end of the box, eight feet off the line and even with the bag, yakking it up, apparently oblivious to what is happening on the field, most of the first inning.
Between innings, he might be anywhere. If he wasn't coming in to talk with me, which he wanted to do every inning, he might be along the third base fence, down the rightfield line, milling around the dugouts...wherever his running commentary with fans, players and coaches might take him.
"That Guy's" mechanics were...unusual...to say the least. Every out call was accompanied with a signal that looked like the old "pull the rip cord" you see on a called third strike. No hammer for him! He also had a habit of calling foul balls and catches on batted balls that were the plate umpire's calls, where he had no business signalling anything.
All in all, it made for an...interesting afternoon. I tried to hit on a few points with him afterwards, but didn't really lay into him like I would with some umpires. Oh, I forgot to mention..."That Guy" is the brother of the local ASA assigner.
Don't be "That Guy"!
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