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No official should be an island. If the league administrators do not fully and completely support you, then do not stay. I work in two leagues that have the potential for trouble: a men's league at a fitness center and a youth travel league.
The management at the fitness center made it crystal clear that there would be no problems supporting any decision we made...even if meant suspending membership. We have an escalating punishment for game disqualifications: two technical fouls (or one flagrant) and you are ejected from that game and you sit out the next game. You may not stay in the gym or try to watch from outside the door. If it happens again, two-game suspension. A third time? You are done for the league season. We have never gone beyond the one-game suspension. The word is out that we mean business...and the idiots either stay away or are quickly told by their teammates to knock if off.
The youth league started having problems a few years back. Since there is no direct site manager, the league developed a policy that the head coaches are responsible for the conduct of their bench and their fans. If we have problems with fans, we tell the coaches to deal with it. If they don't, the game is forfeited. Most parents are thankful that someone is finally telling the jerks to knock it off. I had a problem with a parent after a playoff game last year. When I told the league administrator about it, he told me it was the fourth complaint about that town's teams. The league managers spoke to the town coordinator and gave a simple offer: clean up your act or you will be kicked out of the league.
If I worked in a league that refused to back me fully, I would not work there. But...I would sit down with the managers and let them know the problems. You have a lot of company...and a lot of support from others who have walked in your shoes. If you would like copies of the league policies to share with your folks, send me a private message.
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