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I'm working on coach management, too, and here's what my mentor has talked to me about that seems to be working better for me this year: I'm talking earlier in the game. First complaint, let him know you hear him. Say, "thank you" or nod or something. Second complaint make eye contact, at least, maybe a few word explanation such as, "it was on the arm coach" "she didn't have legal guarding position". We're talking first five minutes here, for the really vocal coaches.
If they're saying things like "Shes travelling, that's a travel, why don't you call that travel?" I'm shaking my head, but focusing on the play. This seems to help a lot if it's early on. I'm getting a lot better at being calm myself, and this helps too.
And the admitting-you're-wrong thing is tough to get started on, but it really works. We blew one royal tonight, and I said, "Coach, we should have given you shots on that foul, but we didn't and we can't correct it now. We can't do anything to make up for it, we just plain blew it and I'm sorry. But don't worry, we won't go unscathed, the varsity officials are seeing the whole thing so we'll hear about it later on." I wouldn't always add that last part, but it really helped a lot in this case. Also helped that his team came back and won.
When they're chipping away about one thing, this has worked for me a few times: "Coach, if I call it at that end, I'll be calling it at the other end, too." I did this in December, and the coach said, "Okay, fine, that's what I want. We aren't travelling as much as they are." my partner and I made good eye contact, and called six good travels in thirty seconds: four on his girls, two at the other end. he couldn't complain at all they were very, very obvious. (Fortunately) Didn't hear another word the whole game. Also, quit calling so many travels.
What did you see on that play? is a reasonable thing to say, and I think I'd have T'd him if he responded as you say. But next time maybe some earlier talking will prevent this situation. Maybe. But, maybe not. I've still T'd a couple coaches this year, and may still pop one more, depending. But I'm throwing a lot less T's than I used to and that's because (I think) I'm talking earlier.
[Edited by rainmaker on Jan 29th, 2003 at 12:25 AM]
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