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You don't have to defer to your partner. Go to him and discuss it. The discussion usually goes like, "I've got this and you've got that and this occurred first so we go with it." If both happened at the exact same time, then you've got a double foul, which is rare.
I defer to my partner when we've both got the same, usually obvious call, and he is in his primary.
I think it looks worse if you've got an arm that partially goes up and you don't discuss it with your partner. Then, the B coach has a legitimate beef. If you discuss it then you have something concrete to tell that coach about what happened.
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