If the umpire is so wrapped around a tree on "stuff on the ball" why not just inspect the ball before the 1st pitch of the inning and see if there is "stuff" on the ball? If there isn't, put ball back in play and play on. If there is "stuff" on the ball, which could have come from anyone one of the infielders and the coach, who ya gonna blame? Toss the ball out and use another.
Second scenario probably wouldn't happen because umpire would be filling his socks with "stuff" he couldn't get out of when he tosses someone.
Me as a coach would "protest" this game for misapplication of a rule if I was tossed.
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Wish I'da umped before I played. What a difference it would'a made! 
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