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Tony, I think the level of play makes a huge difference in the situtation as you see it. Below HS, the coaches I have seen feel very parental about their players. If they think a player might be hurt, or just needs comforting, their (very appropriate) response is to want to get to them as quickly as possible. Maybe there are some who will manipulate this situation, even to the point of having a kid fake an injury, but I have not seen it. I agree they should play by the rules - take the player out, or burn a time-out, but don't penalize them because they care about their kids. Now HS and up, that's a different story.
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