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I'm a believer in not getting crap on my shoes. Allowing a kid to make a bad decision during PE or during the coin toss only makes my shoes dirty. Sure, the kid may have made the wrong decision, but why let that happen?
A is called for holding and on the play goes beyond the line to gain. No captain's input is needed -- I don't even ask. When I jump on a crew and watch a white hat ask in such a situation (or on a score where there is exactly zero chance the penalty will be declined) it makes me wonder if the white hat has any kind of game sense.
When PE does require a real decision, I position myself so that the coach is within earshot of the conversation and I encourage the captain to ask his coach. If I'm in front of the bench when it happens, I simply ask the coach. I always give the options as 3rd and 21 or 4th and 8 (or whatever). That's clear to them.
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