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I have heard and watched coaches use many different motions and words to request a time out (sometimes very funny). In Minnesota a lot of times at the HS level we bring the coaches into the pre-game and I quickly mention to them that we must hear the words time out as well as see the signal. I also mention that if there is intense action on the court we as officials cannot be turning around to see if the howler is just going through one of his routines or is actually requesting a timeout. Players need to be aware of situations as well (or informed by their coach). I granted a timeout to a five-out call two years ago in a big tournament game and from that learning experience I make sure I understand exactly what the coach wants. It is his job to be clear not for us to be mindreaders.
As for the second part of this thread dealing w/ the lag time in hearing the timeout and granting it I definately agree that the timeout is granter when we visually or audibly see/hear the timeout request. The airborne player going out of bounds is an excellent example...
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