[Juulie Downs]

I have gone back and cleaned up my mess a couple of times. Once when my 5-yr-old had been in and out of the hospital 7 times in 8 weeks, and I was trying to keep up my game schedule to help out my assignor (this was dumb, I know, I should have just scrapped that season...). Anyway, late in the season, kid got admitted in the am, I dashed off to a game, and just basically blew up the gym in a 6th grade girls game that should have been smooth sailing. Ended up tossing one coach. Had the guy a week later (with my kid out of the hospital for 3 days in a row!!) and almost grovelled. A) I knew he'd be gracious. We'd had at least two or three games together for a couple or three years, and I kinda knew him. B) I didn't let it affect that second game. If he'd have gotten nasty, I'd have still whacked him.

One other time I had a coach ask me about an incident about 6 months later. We had bumped into each other in a non-basketball setting. I'd whacked him and rightly so, I thought. at the later meeting, he asked what he'd done. I told him what I'd heard, and he explained that I'd mis-understood his words. It clearly wasn't a defensive or manipulative maneuver on his part, he just wanted to clear the air. I said, if that's what you said, then I apologize, and I'll try to listen more closely next time.

In general, though, I don't think it's smart to try to straighten everything out later. Although some coaches have a pretty good perspective on the whole thing, many don't and it's kinda hard to tell which are which. Usually more harm than good, imo.