With the after basket activity, if it actually causes a delay (the purpose of the rule), then I'll call the DOG. If not, I'll verbally tell the kids to leave it alone.
I have had a partner not make a call that I later found out should have been made when the ball went into the corner. I was C, he was L on the shot. T and I were talking later, and she had a good view but passed on it as it wasn't her call.
I can see how this would be frustrating.
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