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I would have certainly whacked the coach. I'm on the fence as to whether I would have ruled it flagrant or not... probably a HTBT. I'm sure the coach was caught up in the moment and didn't realize what she was doing. Nonetheless, a coach should be responsible for their actions. A technical foul and a stern statement like yours ("Coach that is completely unacceptable! You are NOT to touch an official like that!") probably would have taken care of the situation.
Either way, I would write a report to my state association or supervisor detailing what happened.
While I understand your concern for not wanting to end the game because of the kids, the basketball court is an extension of the class room. Therefore, the coach's actions should be penalized accordingly. If an ejection occurs and the result is the end of the game then it's a valuable learning lesson that behavior of that nature is not acceptable.
Just my $0.02.
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