I cannot believe that we are wasting time worrying about what a coach does with a player. We are officials, what the heck do we care about how much of an a$$ a coach is to his players. We do not make these decisions in any way. We call fouls and we call violations. We pass test and show how much we know about the rules. This is not our issue. 
Just joking!!! I just wanted to say that.
I do not think it really matters in the end, it comes down to what you value. You either value the education or you value the sports experience. I guess if it is all about the athletic endevors, you might get in line with a coach from out state that recruited a kid to a public school, and he got suspended for a year. Sports are important, but they are not that important. But as I said, it comes down to what you value.
Peace