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Wolfe--
I'm not the world's expert on anything, but I've gotten repeated high marks on my evals on the subject of block/charge. Here's how I've boiled it down.
The key to the whole thing is, REF THE DEFENSE. This is why 99% of the public can't get it correct reliably, they are watching the ball. If the defender establishes and maintains legal guarding position, any foul must be called on the ball-handler. So all you have to do is to watch the defender, and you will know how to call any contact.
Legal guarding position means that the defender at some point had both feet on the floor and was facing the ball-handler. After that point, and it only needs to be a micro-second, he can move to maintain a close guarding. If he moves in the same direction as the dribbler, and then there is contact, his feet may be off the floor, but the call is Player Control, because the defender still has legal guarding position.
So once the dribbler is running straight up the floor, the defender can run alongside and prevent the dribbler from turning to get into shooting position. If the dribbler turns into the defender, it's automatically PC.
Keys for refs to watch for are, where was contact? If it's on the torso of the defender, it's usually PC. If the defender gets in front of the dribbler, even momentarily, the foul must be PC.
Refs should also watch for travelling as the dribbler realizes he's in trouble and tries to go around, or slow down.
Remember, too, that this is all high school rules. college and NBA are different. Especially that little dotted line circle under the basket -- doesn't exist in high school rules, not even in theory. A ribbler can foul clear behind the backboard after the ball has fallen through the basket, if the defender had legal guarding position before the dribbler left the floor to shoot.
The words to say to your friends are, Legal Guarding Position, and Ref the Defense. It takes lots of practice, and most members of the viewing public aren't really interested.
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