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As NC has already stated it depends on the situation (if ball is hit in air to outfield and someone is going out) and where the umpires are who has the BR into 2nd.
Your second question, yes with multiple runners on U1 is near 2nd, off the shoulder of the 2nd baseperson. But again if there is a fly ball from left fielder to right fielder going toward the middle part of the field U1 should be chasing that fly ball for catch no catch, and U3 would have BR into 2nd base. So it depends on a number of variables who would take the BR into 2nd.
To your last original question, ASA and FED mechanics are the same. NCAA has it's own mechanics. They "work the rim" and have a different person cover 1st base calls when U1 goes out with nobody on. There are other small differences I am sure (I don't call NCAA so someone else will have to chime in) these are just 2 that I do know of.
I am not sure what a 'baseball like' called 3rd strike is, but in all softball that I have seen having a baseball like call is not a good thing. By that I mean pointing instead of the hammer. Also looking away from the ball when making a called 3rd is frowned very heavily upon by any ruleset.
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