[KWH]

Alf-

In response to your request of: ..."Surely, someone as intelligent as you could easily persuade a dolt like me that there is some (any) rational basis for your interpretation"...

That being said the game we officiate has rules. Whether or not you agree with these rules is insignifigant. You should learn to rely on and enforce these as they are written!

For an example, here is rule 2-37 for you to begin with:

SECTION 37 - RULE
A rule is one of the groups of regulations which governs the game. A rule sometimes states what a player may do, but if there is no such statement for a given act (such as faking a kick), it is assumed that he may do what is not prohibited. In like manner, a rule sometimes states or implies that the ball is dead or that a foul is involved. If it does not, it is assumed that the ball is live and that no foul occurred. If a foul is mentioned, it is assumed that it is not part of a double or multiple foul unless so stated or implied.