[Ump153]

Originally Posted by aceholleran

Actually, I got this one from a restaurateur friend in dealing with complaining help or customers.

I have used it several times, with a great success ratio.

It is especially useful when the combatant goes on a tirade, trying to establish his veracity as opposed to insulting you. It's tailor-made for sitches where you don't want to run anyone, you just want the rat to shut his pie-hole and return to bench or position.

Examples:
"I know the book rule [you can really follow this with anything]: The runner gets the base he's going to plus one."

"That's a foul tip. It can't be strike three."

"You've been calling that pitch a ball the whole game."

"My guy's standing on the base. He can't be called out!"

"You can't bunt with two strikes."

and so on, ad nauseam.

Just wait a beat, maybe scratch your chin, and say, very calmly and lazily:

"Is that right?"

Try it; you'll like it.


Aceready2retireinCT

I took a couple of Advanced A League umpires out for drinks a little while back. They told me they use an even more economical one word defuser that they stole from a bit on SNL's Weekend Update. Their's is simply

"REALLY?!"