This is one that I thought about doing just last night, but my partner encouraged me not to.
This was a big cross town rivalry type game. Some guy in the bleachers had his tired old line of "Come on, ump, you are controlling the game."
I so badly wanted to walk over to him and say, "Thank you sir, for recognizing the efforts of myself and my partner in doing an otherwise thankless job. I really do appreciate you letting these naysayers around you know exactly what our job is, to control the game. You sir, are truly a rare gem."
My partner threatened to leave the field if I did say that to him.
