derwil, what you're finding is that the culture of softball (and also baseball) is quite different from that of basketball. This culture plays a large part in what makes the diamond sports unique.
If you think the uniform variations are bad in softball, be thankful you don't work baseball or even soccer.
Also, for what it's worth, NY is a member of the NFHS but apparently, not in softball. Similar to TX and MA in football.
Wade, what level of ball is IFA? In this area, it seems youth fastpitch is soley ASA. I don't think we even have adult fastpitch anywhere local.